Monday, 19 June 2017

When your ex is seeing someone new...

I found out recently that my ex is seeing someone else. Even though I rarely think about him it made me feel really weird. Part of me was upset about it, naturally, we don't like to think the other person might just be okay after a split. Surely their life ended the minute you stopped sharing one?  So to hear this was a big shock for me.

On the other hand, it made me feel relieved. It's like a validation that it's  been long enough since the end of the relationship that's okay to start properly seeing other people again. Thank you wanker ex for establishing that.  
 
It's okay to feel upset. You may have fully acknowledged the relationship was over to yourself much sooner than this but its still a big break up milestone. Here are a few things that went through my head, and might be of help to you if you're in the same position.
  1. Its only natural to want to compare yourself to the new person. Don't. It's not worth the upset. Honestly. Just remind yourself you've probably changed since the separation, so why can't your ex? Maybe their looking for different things in the people date now. 
  2. People can date a wide variety of people. Who they date next is not a reflection on you. See above point for the fact that people change.
  3. Remember that your relationship had good points (I hope) too. They are what make the time and effort and eventual loss worth it. At this point it may feel natural to start seeking out new memories with someone new too. 
  4. Your ex is dick. I don't care who ended it, how it ended or anything. At the end of the day they are  one. It's their loss through and through that you are not together. You are awesome and amazing and can do anything the hell you want. Hold onto that fiery anger to help see you through this tough patch.
  5. Go date yourself. If you don't feel up to dating anyone else, then go enjoy yourself on your own. It sounds silly but I'd 10/10 recommend it. Check out my posts about self dating here.
Just a few things to think about. At the end of the day it's not the end of the world. After a break up your ex will eventually move on, it's never going to be an easy thing to hear. So just enjoy yourself and forget about them. Don't be afraid to be upset about but equally don't be upset if you're not that assed either. There's no right or wrong way to react. Just let you, be you.

Have you any advice on this kind of situation? 

Abi x